Before I start I want to give this link to a great idea by http://chuckwestbrook.com/ to get some really deserving blogs more exposure. In the last wee while I've started reading loads of other blogs, and as Chuck points out, some of them are fuckin' tremendous. So I've agreed to try and spread the good word! Who knows, maybe there'll also be some more people who want to read the pish I write too!
Anyway.... Still feeling the negative effects of the weekend's drinking shenanigans. Although, a visit to the doctors today (I feel like I'm never fuckin' away from there these days. They should just put me down.) yea... a visit to the doctors has found that I have Sciatica. That's why my leg is in fuckin' agony. At least now I know what is wrong with my leg, which is nice... I guess. I told her about my head as well, but like the other doc she kinda dismissed it as an anxiety/depression thing. I'm happy if it is that, but it's quite sore today. And it's not usually sore, just "there". Fuck knows...
Apparently the sciatica can't be "cured" so a course of anti-inflammatory pills has been prescribed as the first measure. If it continues then physio is the next step. Fuckin' nightmare... Fuckit...What ye gonna do...
Playing football tonight. The doc said that if I can keep playing then I should, so I will. I was discussing with a mate the other day that the only things I get a "kick" out of these days is playing football and playing guitar. So I guess I should do everything I can to force myself into doing them.
*PART 2*
Never finished this before I went. We lost 2-1. Really enjoyed it though, think I played ok and everyone really tried. They had a wee old guy in goal who was fuckin amazing. Old fuckin' cunt. But like I said, I thought it was a really good game. Want to play more. Wouldn't mind starting with another five-a-side team, maybe a Thursday night or something. Might see if some of the other boys are up for it.
Fuck knows what I'm feeling today. I feel like I'm kinda consumed by the fuckin pain in my leg. It's ok if I'm up and about, but when I'm just sitting it's fuckin' agony. There must be some sort of Karma in that. How do you punish a fat lazy cunt? Make it fuckin' impossible for him to sit on his fat fuckin' arse all day. I guess that's what I get for taking the cunt out of everyone I come across. Oh well... if that is the case then I have a whole fuckin' world of pain to look forward to for the horrible shit I've joked about. Ha...
Been indulging in a lot of pretty melancholic music again this last wee while. I'm still not sure whether it's a good thing. Especially Arab Strap. I kinda feel when I listen to it that it's not so bad to be a fuckin' depressed cunt who gets fuckin pished all the time. That it's ok.
But it's not...
I'm gonna get out of this shit. Enjoy melancholic music for the good music it is without using it to wallow in. Not use it as some justification for the way I am. I'm not a "flawed genius". I'm not gonna be a rockstar on the back of me being depressed. I'm gonna ruin everything if I don't take control. Sort it out... Take it all back. Get rid of these putrid feelings that run around my body. Get them to fuck and make a good life for me and my family. A good life in terms of happiness... Not monetary happiness... Just happy being me, happy with my lot... maybe even make someone else happy. Who knows...
Although, I'd rather be loaded and happy.... Hahaha....
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