Pat on the back for me today I think. Watched the football last night with a couple of mates, they drank my beer, I drank coke. Who'da thunk it eh? I feel good for it though, I'm pleased I didn't drink. I'm gonna see if I can go until the 25th of September without drinking. That's the date of the company "Staff Day" where they give you free beer and it's pretty much expected that you'll get pissed.
Fuckit... we'll see if I can do it. Weekend is always tough, just cos I've got fuck all else to do, and it's just generally accepted that getting pissed will be on the agenda. I guess if I can do it during a big football game, then I can do it anytime, right? Right?? Fuckit... We'll see...
I'm trying hard to make things cool today, no more moaning about shite that's irrelevant to people who don't give a fuck. I feel pretty weird if I'm being honest. Just a wee bit... fuck knows... strange maybe? I just wanna go home and disappear for a wee while... come back when everything is great. Life is good again.
Things aren't *shite* really I don't suppose. There's just always the feeling in me that something is missing. I need something else in my life, I need something to make it all worthwhile. I feel like I'm fed up being alive... getting up in the morning, driving to work, worrying about shit that in the grand scheme of things is fucking pathetic, going home and then doing it all again. It's all pretty depressing, and made worse because I can't think of a single thing that would make it better.
I want a hug... I want someone to give me a hug and tell me everything is going to be ok. Even though I know I won't believe them.
What a wanker..
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