I'm sitting in the office just now been here since 1 and it's now half 9,[edit] it was 22:50 before I actually posted this[/edit] need to get this project finished and website live, so it was agreed that we'd come in to the office today. On the Sabbath as well, can you believe that... I guess I wouldn't have done anything very exciting in any case, so may as well come in.
I'm feeling not too bad again today. But I do feel that everyone is annoying me. I can feel that my fuse is pretty short and one or two have already come close to feeling the full wrath. I feel like a cunt for feeling like this though, it's not like they're doing anything unreasonable. It's just I can't be fucked with the cunts. That's not right is it?
But it's ok...isn't it? To feel like you want to smack fuck out of someone just for the way they said something, or asked you something? Especially when you've been in the office for 8 and a half hours on a Sunday, and there's not really much hope of getting home any time soon. But we've ordered pizza so those guys are away eating that and playing pool. So I thought I'd come and write this shit.
In all honesty I feel fuckin' shite... I'm worried about money. I don't have enough, and I owe a fair bit out. I know there is money waiting when I finish the site for PK's company, but trying to get that finished is turning into a nightmare in itself because I'm in the fuckin' office trying to finish this other project. Can feel everything getting on top of me again so I just need to make sure that I just deal with one thing at a time and don't just bury my head in the sand again and make everything even worse.
Heard from the ex again, more of the "you're a cunt, why haven't you dealt with this yet" type emails.
I feel like such a fuckin useless, fat, ugly, waste of space cunt. Fuckit man... I feel like bursting in to tears right here in front of these cunts. Storming off... jumping in my car and fucking off somewhere. That makes me even more of a cunt though doesn't it? Running away from everything, leaving everyone else to pick up the pieces... My ex would be sitting with her smug face saying "See, I told you that you were a cunt that thought of nobody but himself"...
Fuckit...
Fuck Fuck...Fuckin Cunts...
I need someone around me, with me. My mates... My family... My people...
I need someone to tell me I'm not a fuckin cunt...
Fuckit....
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