I dunno why I feel like making another entry today. I feel really crap tonight. I'm sitting here with my housemate and his nephew, but I just feel really fuckin' lonely.
Been thinking about my ex a lot today, I guess it's a bit shit to just think about her because I'm feeling bad. I've just been thinking that I hope her and the boy are ok. I hope she doesn't feel shite about her time with me, although I think she'll likely hate me. Fuckit, what can you do. I know I didn't do anything wrong as such. And generally I know that splitting up was the best thing to do.
That doesn't stop me feeling like a complete fuckin' cunt right now. Why does this happen to me? Why do I always end up feeling so bad? In fact, it's hardly rocket science is it? I've been boozing too much, so it's obvious that there is gonna be some fallout from that. Fuckit... My own fault...
I just have that fuckin' "lost" feeling. It's hard to explain, I just feel fuckin lost. Like I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. In the grand sense. I need a burd, for sure... I need someone to keep me right. Someone who has my back. Maybe I *was* too hasty in splitting up. She was generally good for me, but fuck... I wasn't happy. Could someone really go through their life with someone that doesn't make them happy just to have *someone* there?
I spoke about that before I think, I miss having someone at my back. Someone that when they're gone, you feel like you're falling and you can't stop it. I miss having my family and my mates around me too.
Fuckit... Another self indulgent moan.
Let's see what tomorrow brings...
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