Haven't written for a few days.  My sister came to visit over the weekend.  It was great seeing her.  I was *fucked up* on Saturday with booze and puff.  A friend of mine commented that I was so relaxed and comfortable around my family.  More than I ever am.  Apparently I was in good form too, funny, playing guitar and singing.  I had such a good fuckin' time.

I guess the fallout from that is why I'm feeling pretty fkn shite the last few days, but fuckit.  I knew it was coming, I knew that I'd have to deal with this.  So it's not so bad. 

I have another appointment with "the woman" tomorrow.  She said she's going to have a series of "tests" for me.  I hope it's not those "what do you think about this picture" as she holds up a picture of a donkey, type pish.  Because I will be forced to dismiss her.  We'll see.... fuck knows.  I look forward to the meetings though, I do think they help me.  And when I'm there and I start, I feel like I don't want to stop.  I need to try and control that though, as I've come out of the last two feeling so open and vulnerable that I've told people things that in my normal day to day state I wouldn't dream of doing.

Is that a bad thing though?  Fuck knows, maybe it's not.  Maybe I don't need to stop myself from saying what I feel.  Maybe it's ok to not keep things to myself.  Fuck knows.  Maybe its all a bit gay.

Was up most of last night trying to finish some work as I'm holding people up.  I knew this whole thing was coming, but it's still horrible.  More because I know I'm causing other people hassle which is getting to me.  (So why the fuck are you writing this instead of working?!)

Hmmm I guess that's a fair point.

I also posted a link to this on a few forums I go on.  Not sure why or what I'm looking for from letting complete strangers read the shite I have to say.  But I just felt like I want people to read what I have to say.  Fuckit... If you're here and reading this then I appreciate you taking the time to read these tales of ordinary madness.