The notion has gone. Yesterday was an important day in terms of how things could progress. And nothing materialised. There was opportunity for it to come about, and it wasn't taken up. Oh well. Disappointed, but not hugely surprised. Fuckit...
Been smoking a wee bit of puff as well as boozing the last few days. Been writing a few songs too, some are complete pish as you'd expect, but some aren't too bad actually. And most importantly I'm really enjoying doing them. Looking forward to getting some recording equipment together and putting some stuff together. My ambitions of being a rockstar have waned slightly since I was 16 years old, but playing the other week at the work "do" has given me the desire to at least get playing at family things etc...
I'm pretty worried about a friend of mine. He's having a hard time with his wife, and from the outside it's looking like it's all over. I'm worried because I know what he's like, and he's already taking it fucking hard. I'm worried because I know what it was like when I split from my "first love" and he's been with this girl for longer than I was. And there's also the fact he's married to her. When I was in that place, I didn't want to hear people telling me "it'll get better", "plenty more fish" and all that fuckin shite. So, maybe it's wrong... But I've been trying to say things that other people won't say to him. Like "this is gonna be shite for a *fuckin* long time", and that he's just gonna have to ride it out. And that it could take fuckin months/years before he feels "comfortable" with going out, meeting new girls and everything that goes along with that. I think I needed to hear that. I needed to know that it was ok to feel that horrible feeling, and that I didn't have to "pull myself together" and it would be sitting with me for a fucking long long time... I think it probably still sits with me today.
First cut and all that pish... Fuckit...
My sister and her boyfriend are coming down today, looking forward to having them around. Although, it does mean a few days away from the glorious bed. Fuckit, I'm happy sleeping on the sofa to be honest, falling asleep with the TV on etc...
I need to pick myself up from here, kick on... keep trying to do things that make me happy. Playing guitar, football, writing. Get over this issue, get a burd. Fuckit... We'll see.
Be the first to rate this post
- Currently 0/5 Stars.
- 1
- 2
- 3
- 4
- 5